I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
