suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
