Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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