Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
