Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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