you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
