i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
