A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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