HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm both gender and math confused
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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