I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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