I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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