Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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