Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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