Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
