i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
