I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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