if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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