No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
