but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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