Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
