I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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