tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wear drunk well.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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