She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
