I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
