Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
