The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
