Ambien. No doubt about it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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