YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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