I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
