You're a womanizer and a bitch.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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