im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
These tits shall not be calmed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
