so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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