If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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