in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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