I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
