In the future we'll all be gay
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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