whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
