i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize