You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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