Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
