the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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