glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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