Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
