hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
