We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize