Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
