Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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