I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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