BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
