how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
