she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
