I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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