Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
