i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
