'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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