Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only room for one pussy in that bed.

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  (262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (2320)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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  (614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi
  Replies (12) Good night (2952) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Some perfection is debatable.

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  (720): Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday. (303): Some perfection is debatable. http://tfl.nu/oliz
  Replies (32) Good night (4094) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

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  (248): she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing. http://tfl.nu/gzcy
  Replies (26) Good night (13633) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

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  (301): He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him. http://tfl.nu/18rr
  Replies (6) Good night (4350) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3171) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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  (201): Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants. http://tfl.nu/zw7z
  Replies (14) Good night (3480) Bad night (1673)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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  (778): There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater http://tfl.nu/g5ze
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (2353)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?

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  (407): If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do? http://tfl.nu/1p3s
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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  (662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98
  Replies (28) Good night (7105) Bad night (900)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (2115) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.

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  (916): It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie. http://tfl.nu/mir1
  Replies (12) Good night (1717) Bad night (620)
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  (760): View more from California

  Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.

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  (760): Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up. http://tfl.nu/n00x
  Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.

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  (951): Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con. http://tfl.nu/1v01
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can't help that I bring out the sex in people

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  (518): I can't help that I bring out the sex in people http://tfl.nu/k6ds
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (185)

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