Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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(703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul

Replies (13) Good night (1148) Bad night (540)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(301): I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm http://tfl.nu/sws3

Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (801)
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(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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(563): i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up. http://tfl.nu/69xm

Replies (12) Good night (927) Bad night (683)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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(603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz

Replies (24) Good night (7273) Bad night (963)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.

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(513): She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools. http://tfl.nu/fny5

Replies (21) Good night (1002) Bad night (3771)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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(404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80

Replies (59) Good night (770) Bad night (3582)
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(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(714): considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned http://tfl.nu/7fpn

Replies (3) Good night (3411) Bad night (927)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that

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(902): I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that http://tfl.nu/4tc7

Replies (5) Good night (2777) Bad night (781)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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(617): she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something. http://tfl.nu/1xv3

Replies (17) Good night (1018) Bad night (3605)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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(814): She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place http://tfl.nu/x3gi

Replies (5) Good night (1950) Bad night (730)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..

(587): View more from Alberta

Wow. We're meant to be..

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(403): I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask.. (587): Wow. We're meant to be.. http://tfl.nu/3d3s

Replies (13) Good night (2715) Bad night (686)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.

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(812): I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon. http://tfl.nu/la4i

Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (472)
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(207): View more from Maine

Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.

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(207): Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills. http://tfl.nu/z8zj

Replies (6) Good night (914) Bad night (748)
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(316): View more from Kansas

You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.

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(316): You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form. http://tfl.nu/cz7h

Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (408)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship

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(515): I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship http://tfl.nu/py1y

Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (302)

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