I love black thongs
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic