so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
How external is "for external use only"?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him