ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

  Fav 84 2901 1120

  share tweet
  

• (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

  Fav 22 2058 5476

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

  Fav 2 1144 2524

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.

  Fav 6 1004 1268

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  How external is "for external use only"?

  Fav 16 1067 1645

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

  Fav 2 1504 685

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

  Fav 6 1481 684

  share tweet
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina

  Fav 8 1689 907

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

  Fav 1 551 828

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"

  Fav 3 1204 659

  share tweet
  

• (477): View more from

  YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!

  Fav 3 894 502

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

  Fav 3 460 770

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.

  Fav 0 165 205

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?

  Fav 5 105 24

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him

  Fav 2 52 54

  share tweet
  

Randomize