Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
