how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize