big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
