i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
