Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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