I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She bit a glass in half.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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